My cousin came to visit today. He's 30. He looks like a younger and better looking version of me. It was great to have him here... not only because I like him... but because my kids adore him. With Maggie gone at class, it made the day so much easier.
I didn't see him for something like 20 years. My father, who has serious psychological problems, went on a full-scale mental assault against my cousin's dad... which culminated in my father banning our family being banned from talking to my Uncle or his family. It was only when I got old enough to make my own choices that I decided that talking to my Uncle wouldn't be "disloyal" to my father.
I know I've mentioned my Dad's problems before, but I don't know if I ever mentioned the scope of time that it has affected my extended family.... My father didn't talk to his mother for 14 years. He didn't talk to his brother for 20 years. And now, he (and his other son), don't talk to me. It's been 2.5 years.
Borderline Personality Disorder, man. It's a sad, scary, and ultimately pathetic thing.
So, I've been back in touch with my cousin and uncle for a few years now, and they're sweet, smart, funny, normal people... although it's amazing how similar/twisted my cousin's sense of humor is. People who Skype with both of us have told me they get us confused. Cool.
Anyway. It was a fun day, and I'm feeling a bit blessed by having such cool family.
Love to all. Even you, Dad, you crazy fuck.
3 comments:
So good to know dysfunctional families are everywhere!!! Keep on curing the family ills! :-)
I have a similar issue, only it happened not because my father is off his rocker, but because his sisters are. Grandpa died, everyone contested the will, and now no one speaks to each other at all. I lost touch with my cousins for nearly twenty years.
Then I heard that one of my cousins had moved into my town, just a few blocks away from me. I gathered up all of my courage and knocked on her door. It's so wonderful to know her again, and now that we both have children, it's truly an amazing thing. I hope that we are able to forge a stronger relationship and start to get together more often. Although, I don't think her mother will like it very much (and I don't think she cares;)
I met one of my cousins for the first time when we were both in our early 20's. I was amazed at the parallel lives we had led. People often ask us if we are brother and sister, not based on looks but our personalities. Some of my family didn't like that I spent time with him initially but they came around eventually. Now, we both have kids about the same age and he is one of my husband's best mates, I'm so glad I sought him out.
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