Zube Girl’s… shall we say… forthrightness about her personal habits reminded me of something I’ve been trying not to think about. (Note: I'm not equating the two at all.) But now that it's in my mind, I figure that sharing it might get rid of it.
The scene: an employee review. I’m the employer. We’re going through the process… mostly positives, a few criticisms, a decent raise, etc. At the end I say: “By the way, I was surprised that you never gave me anything that you wanted to discuss in the review.” (I had asked my employees to submit topics for discussion to me in writing, so I could prepare.
She said: “Rich, you can’t help me with my problem here.”
I said: “What do you mean?”
She said: “Well, it’s [Colleague].”
Now, Colleague has some personal habits which can be a little frustrating. Colleague loudly blows her nose every time she comes into the little cubicle… even if everyone in the cubicle is on the phone. Colleague burps a lot. There are others. So I thought it was one of these things… but it wasn’t.
So she continues: “She’s always picking things out of her scalp. And smelling them.”
My reaction? Real professional. I was like, “Oh, GOD. Oh, man… um… is there something you want me to do about it?” She said “No.. no…” And that was it. But now… Oh my god. I’m so grossed out. It’s an image that has stuck with me ever since.
What’s a small-business owner supposed to DO? What’s the right thing, here?
Love to all. Even you, the folks who put up with my icky habits.
11 comments:
This is one of toughest calls you have to make. On a similar note, I have worked with people from cultures with "different" hygene habits.
Sometimes the smell is a huge distraction from work. Being a good guy it's so hard to tell a 40smth year old man that they stink.
You can try to approach it as a joke, in case you catch them in the act of doing it. (smelling the scalp particles -- that is), or you could just continue to ignore the issue and pray that it will go away. (it never goes away...)
EWWWWWWW! Okay, heh, I might pull errant strands of hair out of my head and stick them to the shower wall, but I don't SMELL them! And even if I DID they're be, you know, freshly washed. And IN PRIVATE!
Wow. That's just gross. Grosser than me all by myself. Heh. Does make for a funny blog entry, though.
Zube: agreed. That's why I made sure to add a disclaimer. Two different ballparks.
ITS: I tried be a nose-blowing example by saying "Excuse me, I have to go to the men's room to blow my nose." No luck on that front. What equivalent is there for scalp picking?
This disgusting person probably doesn't know what they are doing half the time -- nervous habits. But seriously? Ewwww. Sympathy!
GAH!! Hmm... hair nets, maybe? A shower cap?
There once was a man who worked in the factory at my father's company. He stunk like death. He did not bathe. He did not change his clothes more than twice a week. He smoked, too, so there was that nasty ash tray smell mixed in.
It was so nasty, people couldn't be near him. People had to back up. Once, I had to talk to him about something and I had absolutely no choice but to cover my mouth and back up a few feet. My eyes were watering.
The plant foreman was finally forced to speak to him about his hygiene habits. He began to shower more often (like, once a week). But he was still repulsive.
If it's something that makes it nearly impossible for people to work with an employee, then something must be said. Picking and smelling bits of scalp, while gross and disgusting, is really just a nasty habit. IF this person gives off a horrid odor, you CAN say something to them, especially if they have to deal with clients or customers, or come into contact with them in any way.
Yuck. I don't envy you.
The thing is:
1) She's actually very nice, in a lot of ways. She just has these quirks.
2) Because of how the seats are angled, I don't see her do this. It's the other person in the room who's so troubled.
I don't think there's anything I can do, unless the other employee asks me too. I just don't want to start noticing this. Please, God.
Oh, you just gave me an idea. Maybe you can rearrange the office where, the other employee doesn't see the offender.
Do you also have the same view about people using headphones while at work? You didn't want me to wear them, if I recall this correctly, but it may be a way to avoid hearing nose blowing sounds.
Oooh, it makes me wonder what she's finding that needs to be sniffed. Bugs don't smell, do they? Or scabs? Okay, now I'm nauseated.
I agree with ITS and suggest rearranging the office so that she's not visible. Worst case scenario, my guess is you're in an at-will state (most are) and can just let her go, but isn't it always the nice ones who have the most bothersome quirks? Hmmm.
I'm guessing here - but she may have trichotillomania (hair pulling disorder). If that's the case then she may be touching the root of the hair to her lip and not smelling it. She would probably be completely humiliated if you asked her about it. Does she have eyebrows or wear liquid liner on her eyes? People pull from all different areas. It's not like other OCD in that there is no known meds that work. It's sort of like stress related feather picking that birds do - or paw licking like dogs. At least that's my pet theory (pun intended). I don't know if that is less gross or not. Just thought it might help to know a different possibility
Hey, anonymous:
Holy smokes, you may be right... I've always been totally baffled by her eyebrow situation.
I would never ask her about that. I would ask her to blow her nose outside of the cube (since it's tiny, there are three of us in there, and it impedes communication when we're on the phone).
Thanks SO much for commenting.
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