- The extent of my issues with lust.
- Flirtations with depression.
The second. Well, it's weird and embarrassing and scary.
For the last three days, I've had cliff-like drops in my mood. They've been unlike anything I've had before. My chest gets all tight, and my vision actually blackens at it's edges. I couldn't look people in the eye. It only lasted a couple of hours at a time, but jeez.
What the fuck IS that? I mean, my natural state is pretty fucking perky.
Anyway, I'm a little baffled and bummed out, but this too shall pass.
Love to all. Even you, the dude who shot me a withering look for bringing a djembe on the Metro North train.
10 comments:
I get those same "dark edge" episodes, too. THe difference between you and I, though, is that depression is something that I've been battling on and off since my late teens. So because of that (unfortunately), I tend to see myself as a "depressed person" even when I'm doing really well... which is most of the time. So weird funky episodes don't surprise me too much, even though they are rare these days.
Flirting always cheers ME up. Maybe you should try that. (okay, that was evil. Don't mind me.)
You've had so many ups and downs in the last few weeks with the business that it's not surprising you're having mood swings. It will pass, but it's never fun (says the mom on the meds).
As for the eye thing, you may want to call an opthamologist (sp). I have had those before and I believe what you are describing is called an opthalmic migraine. At least go see your PCP.
Oh I hate the lows, too. Sometimes your mind/body just does that. Slips into a funk for no apparent reason at all.
Interesting blog- cheers!
I think some people call it stress :P
The only way to deal with the roller coaster is to hang on, enjoy the ride, and not do anything stupid like unstrap yourself while you're going too fast.
I agree that you might want to see an opthamologist, or perhaps a neurologist. The "black edges" things doesn't sound like a typical symptom of depression, unless you're speaking figuratively. But I think you mean it literally.
Good luck; I enjoy your posts.
I don't know what else to say other than that what you wrote resonates really strongly with me. My husband does read my blog, though, so i don;t talk abotu the former either :)
The fact that you don't act on your first issue says a lot about you. Your feelings for your wife come out loud and clear and I envy her.
As for the second, we all have sides we don't discuss. And for the record, I have the dark days too.
"This too will pass" is one of my favorite phrases.
I'm sorry you're getting bummed. I do know the feeling. Hopefully things will start looking up.
And it's funny that you say you are usually perky, because, well, you are. But just going by your blog...the black...that tattoos. I don't know. It's kind of neat how your perkiness goes with it.
Sheesh, I'm a dork.
We blog. I thinkt he fact that we are dorks is self-evident. Heh. My word verification word is "fedxh"
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