The wrong woman.

I admit it. I’m a little flirty.

When I was younger, I would get huge crushes three times a week. I'd see a woman with the right kind of look, smile, voice, speech pattern, curves, etc., and that would be it. I'd be head-over-heels. For about 48 hours.

I've calmed down a little at 37.

I still get crushes. But I can honestly say that in the last year-plus I've only had two. So that's good. And both of those were with/on people that I became actual friends with. So THAT'S good.

This post has nothing to do with those two women.

There's this other woman I have met in AA. I'm not in the least bit attracted to her. To be quite honest, she's frighteningly skinny: like scary, problematically thin, and when I look at her I think "Oh my God, what is she doing to herself?"

But she's nice. She's a smart, outgoing attorney with interesting opinions, and for a while there we were pretty friendly. We never went out for coffee, we never walked together on the street after a meeting... there was no "stepping-up" of the friendship to outside-the-room friends.

About three or four months ago, she started treating my like shit. When I said hello, she would barely sary anything. If I tried to talk to her about running ("Are you running in the Queens Half-Marathon?") she's barely look at me and mumble "no."

Weird shit.

So, yesterday I'm walking to Grand Central from a meeting on Lexington and 36th. I'm thinking about how bad at am at meditating, and how good this woman is. So, spontaneously, I decide to call her and tell her she's the Queen of Meditation, and that I hold her up as an example. I've had her number in my phone for a long time. I was actually going to give it to Maggie a long time ago (and did, actually), and I never erased it. And honestly: I've wanted to ask her what the hell was up.

So I call her, and she's like weird-icy. So I said:

Me: "Dude, are we cool?"
Her: "Yeah, we're cool."
Me: "Have I done something to piss you off?"
Her: "No, you're a married guy, I'm a single girl, so I'm trying to set healthy boundaries."
Me: "Oh. Um... well, that's good."
Her: "Rich, whatever validation you are looking for for me, you've got it."
Me: "Huh? No. I wasn't looking for validation, dude. I was trying to see if I had been a dick to you and didn't know it."
Her: "No."
Me: "Great. I'll be sure not to bug you again."
Her: "It's not bugging."
Me: "Okay. Um. See you tomorrow!"

Click. Then I erased her number.

The first thing I thought was: Damn, what a fucking ego! To think that she has to draw lines in the sand when we're not even on the same beach! Then I thought: Oh, wait. This woman has a problem with married guys. Then I called my friend and he said "Dude: Duh. She has a problem with married guys."

So now it's a compliment, I guess. Sort of.

Love to all. Even you, strange lady.