The babysitter didn't show up today. I've been saying that this lady's unreliability has overstepped her niceness for years. She was even fired once for being late, not showing up, etc. On the other hand, she's super trustworthy with the kids, and genuinely nice. Apparently, even though Maggie says she explicitly gave her instructions as to when she was going to be working.
Although, she didn't give me those instructions, either.... so...
Maggie told me that if I didn't come back home, she would get fired. Of course, and this sounds so mean, Maggie's job doesn't generate revenue yet... it kind of washes with the babysitter (when she shows up)... but mine is the one that, at least currently, pays for our lives. And after discovering that several things fell by the wayside at work while I was away, I wasn't keen on coming home. But Maggie really needed me. So. After taking the 5:30 train to NYC, going to my morning AA meeting, and walking to my office near Union Square, I got the call at 9:20 asking me to come home. I sprinted to the 9:48 train.
And now the day is done. Maggie is back, but going out tonight. Admittedly, the kids had a hell of a schedule, and I'm impressed that Maggie handles all this stuff: tennis team, swim team, diving lessons, dentists appointments, AND one of our cats had to be picked up from being spayed. Busy, busy.
Now, though, I'm making dinner, and trying not to feel unappreciated. Maggie did tell me at the end of the day how much she appreciated my help. And I should be glad she did. But I feel kind of weird. Maggie and I even got into an argument during the day when she called me on the phone for tech support with Excel... and laughed at me because she thought I wasn't listening to her. I was. There's a difference between "duplicate" and "fill down" and Maggie was trying to do neither, but accidentally doing the latter, and describing it as the former. She thought they were the same thing, and that I was just repeating myself.
I love this woman a lot. We are adjusting. It's a good thing I'm such a big jackass, so that I can't be too judgemental when she's a little wonky.
Love to all. Even you, bride-o-mine.
5 comments:
dude maybe I'm just a hard ass, but I think you are cutting that babysitter WAY too much slack.
I can't speak to the "dad" thing, not being, you know, a guy OR married OR with child, but I can speak to the aunt thing (which I'm not saying is anything LIKE being a dad, but I'm just gonna throw this out there). I often feel under-appriciated with all the stuff I do for my niece and nephew, but then I just kinda think, I'm not doing it cuz they asked me to, I'm doing it cuz I love the kids and I love my brother and sis-in-law and because it's fun, mostly.
I dunno. Maybe the situations aren't even close to each other. But I am blessed daily by these kids presence in my life. I dunno what I'd do (or who I'd be) without them. I figure I'll have little enough time to spend with them as is, you know???
I dunno.
Do you make Maggie feel as appreciated as you want her to make you feel? I doubt it and she probably does it everyday.
As for the breadwinner comment, I don't think one day will spiral you in to bankruptcy. Your resentment should be directed at the babysitter, not Maggie.
Probably a harsh comment but I have to juggle it ALL, EVERYDAY so I'm low on sympathy.
Note: I really do enjoy your blog.
Lisa: agreed, but I've been asked not to get involved.
Anne: Agreed again. I actually had some really fun moments with the kiddos, whilst watching them.
Waldo: Your comment would be harsh but appropriate if you said "I have to juggle it ALL, EVERYDAY so I'm low on sympathy."
But saying: "Do you make Maggie feel as appreciated as you want her to make you feel? I doubt it and she probably does it everyday." Is what I call "assumptive crapola." You have no idea whether or not I make Maggie feel appreciated, and assuming that I *don't* probably speaks more to your opinions about people than anything about me. Or Maggie.
Note: I did, though, enjoy your comment. Seriously.
Awww. I'm so glad you said you loved your bride. That is very sweet. I think you need a new sitter. If she can't be on time, maybe you shouldn't pay her on time!
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