I don't think I pluralized that correctly. Alas.
I tend to put people on pedastals: sponsors, friends, family. I think that they've got it together, and that they're always going to give me clear, untainted advice, and that they'll live their lives in outstanding fashion, setting a clear example for me to follow.
Yeah. That's supersmart thinking, there. But I do this regardless of how many events to the contrary occur.
We all know this. Pedestals lead, unversally, to disappointment... because nobody has their shit together. But that, my friends, is a huge-ass relief.
What I, Rich-At-Fucking-Championable-Dot-Com, need to do is close the gaps between realizing that everyone is somewhat fucked up, realizing that I am somewhat fucked up, and that it doesn't really matter in the end. Shit, it's because we're all a bit fucked up that life is such a wonderful and weird parade of delightful little experiences.
The things I've done wrong, would I trade them in for a less fucked-up past? With one real exception, no.
Anyway. This was something of a stream-of-consciousness post. Forgive me.
Love to all. Even you, the building security guard with the amazing glare who, for some reason, thought I was trying to bypass the ID system.
10 comments:
You're looking at me, aren't you? I've done something to knock myself off the damn pedesatal - haven't I?
Am I being paranoid now? I'm being paranoid, aren't I?
The higher the pedastal the farther they fall - I stick to a step stool- less dissapointment in the end.
Also I don't want to be on a pedastal for anyone - I am afraid of heights.
Britt: You are being WAY paranoid. Hell, I think of you as my pretend colleague.
CG: Good thoughts. Sorry about the language.
You're right about those pedestals. I guess it's all in personal perspectives how high those pedestals are.
and yes, we're all fucked up - it just depends on how much fucked up we are. u know, some are more, some a little bit less. but then again, it depends on who you ask anyway.
Thanks. That was something I needed.
Pedestals suck. Those we put others on. And those some people stand upon themselves to beat us.
Alas, that we are all human, eh? Or should we rejoice because we are all human? :)
I knocked myself off my own pedestal recently. As I was moving stuff for the umteenth time from old house to new townhouse my neighbor rudely told me I was in her parking spot. I didnt see her name on it but... My spot was taken by the maintance man. I was super tired after moving and cleaning, etc and she hit me with the last straw so I said "F*** it" I dont ever say that! Really! I think it, but I dont say it in public. She really ruined my good neighbor moment.
They say in sobriety that "Expectations are prepackaged resentments" and Buddhism teaches us that dependence on someone and our perceptions of the world and of people keep us from being free - to be totally empty.
People are people and we are powerless over people, places and things dontcha know. We are drunks trying to find the Middle Path to become enlightened and change OUR perceptions of people.
In the end life is about perceptions
OUR perceptions. How we see others is directly related to how we see ourselves. I try to practice right thinking, most of the time I fail because alcoholics are fucked up people trying to learn how to get un-fucked up.
Nobody escaped becoming fucked up but sobriety shows us the path OUT of the forest. When was the last time you hit a meeting???
One day at a time my friend...
Remember Once you speak words you can never take them back so be mindful of your thoughts, actions and words.
Peace
Jeremy
The longer we stay sober the more we can observe and help others out of their insanity by virtue of one day at a time.
2Vamp: Agreed, that's why I said "Shit, it's because we're all a bit fucked up that life is such a wonderful and weird parade of delightful little experiences."
Jeremy: Three days. Going tomorrow.
:-)
Post a Comment