My next Big Thing.

I’ve made a lot of changes over the last five years. I quit smoking. I quit drinking. I became a distance runner. I eat a lot better. I spend a significant amount of time trying into improve my parenting, husbandhood, company, etc…

…so why the fuck am I sick all the time?

In the last year and a half, I’ve bronchitis three times and pneumonia once. I’ve been knocked flat on my ass repeatedly. I mean, I NEVER felt this sick when I was smoking two packs a day and drinking too much for my own good. And asthsma? Who the fuck develops asthma in their mid-to-late 30’s??? AAAAAAAH!

That’s what I get for being healthy. Or so joked a friend of mine.

So I’ve decided this: Something is wrong. Is it 8-year-old dorito’s stuck somewhere in my small intestine? Damage to my lungs that has compromised my immune system? Has my liver not recovered from the non-stop assault it underwent in years past?

I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.

Enter Jena Wellness center, of New York City. I heard about them online, and decided to give them a shot. Supposedly, I’ve entered into a six-month agreement to do a thorough detoxification (not from drugs or alcohol, since I don’t do those, but of toxins in general), learn how to cook super-healthy meals NYC style (read: 20 minutes or less), learn basic yoga (how Maggie laughed at that one: she’s been asking me to do this for years!) and a whole bunch of other super-duper healing things.

Am I cynical? Hell yes. Am I absolutely willing to embarrass myself silly doing precisely what they tell me to do, to become healthier?

Hell, YES.