I'm sitting in a Starbucks in New York City. On 36th street and Madison Avenue. It's 6:39am.
Today I'm having my second meeting with the person who my old company wants me to replace. On Friday I'm having a conversation with my would-be boss to discuss what my bottom-line requirements are for being hired.
My self-esteem is being called into play. I feel like I have to take this job if they meet my requirements. I feel like I have to have requirements. That somehow, I must be hireable. That if I don't, I'm somehow missing out on the last good work opportunity of my life.
This is, of course, complete bullshit. My company is doing (knock on wood) fine, and it's growing. And there's a reason that, after a decade, I'm the person they are pursuing.
It's just amazing to me how little creedence I give my own success. I swear, I don't mean this is an arrogant way, but I'm starting to think that refusing to acknowledge my own success is pride in reverse. But it's still the sin of pride.
Does that sound arrogant? Am I using too many italics?
Love to all. Even you, the hesistant jaywalker in the track shorts.
5 comments:
I can't blame you for thinking 2X about taking the position. It's really tough going back to work for someone else when you've been your own boss for a long time.
Then again if they've got good insurance, retirement, matching 401K and other perks and you can continue to have your own business grow, it may not be a bad idea to take their $$ too.
That's the question: Can you still keep your biz running while working "for the man?"
I understand, in a way, what you mean by no wanting to acknowledge your successes. I am that way as well. It took a comment from someone I'd hired, and who became a good friend, to point out the things I should have acknowledged as successful, instead of bemoaning the fact that I never made a dent.
I wouldn't look on it as pride. Pride = arrogance. Acknowledgement is different.
Just my 2 cents worth :)
My dad had a saying. "He wears his intelligence (or education, ability, whatever) like a hairshirt."
In other words he pretends to be uncomfortable about being so smart, good, etc.
Perhaps this is you to an extent. You are good, successful, in demand, etc. but ashamed to admit it to yourself, or others.
Just my thoughts.
James @ Right Face!
I think we are our own worst critics. To much pride (as in arrogance) can be a bad thing.
On the other hand, you shouldn't UNDERvalue yourself either.
As the famouse quote sez -- "A man's gotta know his limitations"
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.
Post a Comment