Three years ago today.

I was at my second job and hungover again. You could light my breath on fire with a match. It had been seven years since I started drinking again. Seven years since I thought I had "outgrown" my drinking problem. Hell, I was 20 years old when I quit drinking the first time. Who wouldn't think they had outgrown it.

I was wrong.

Seven years went by: repeated and broken promises to quit that I really meant at the time, hidden vodka bottles, waiting for the kids to leave the room so I could slam down some booze, buying booze in duplicate so nobody would know how much I drank (right!), waking up every day thinking "I am NOT drinking today ," a general and depressing withdrawal and a lack of being there... even when I was physically present.

On September 18, 2003, Maggie said to me:

"Rich, is this what Jesus wants for you?"
I said: "No."

And went to the AA meeting on 14th Street between 5th and 6th and haven't had a drink since.

I'm posting this at 5:45am, because I'm catching the train to NYC to hit a 7:30am AA meeting. Because I don't want to drink today. And because I want to be the best father, husband, and worker I can be. I fail a lot. I can be a total, irritable jackass. I can behave badly. But I'm trying. And the one thing I've managed to get right is not drinking.

And if I keep that up, well, anything is possible.

Love to all. Even you, the guy my age who can't seem to put together three days.