Massively in love.

There are these moments with my daughter when she becomes this amazing bright light, turns my heart to diamond, and shoots me full of this fantastic energy. It prisms, gloriously, over my entire spirit. It bathes me in rainbows. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before… and I’m a guy who loves Love.

My daughter had her first piano recital last night. She’s six.

She wore a dress that we bought at the American Girl store. Her doll has the same outfit. It’s a velvet, Princess Blue number, and it has two big white pom-poms and a fluffy white collar. At one point (while she waited on stage with the rest of the performers) she caught my eye, smiled, and winked at me.

Boom, boom, boom goes my heart.

When her time came, she sat at the piano, posture perfect and poised. She played in a measured, thoughtful way, and she held her final chord for a full four-count. This was a sublime moment. My six-year-old girl, holding down the last bit of her song for a 1…2…3…4. Rest.

Boom, boom, boom.

Found writing: 1992.

"With sunshine in his coffee and petals in his hair, Richie steps into the shower! His heart is racketing around his chest like an overdriven superball, and his toenails quiver like startled mice....

Oh, oh, the day. Look at the day."

- Me, 1992, scribbled into my college house's "bathroom book"
- Found today, 12/14/2005, during Winter Cleaning.
- Clearly, I was a goofball then, too.

Love to all.

Iran: "Peaceful" nuclear weapons.

So, the Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has now reiterated (in public) that he believes the Holocaust was a myth.

The truth here is this: how could someone like this be trusted with nuclear technology? Clearly, he isn't rational. Clearly, if he believes the holocaust didn't happen, he could easily believe that developing nuclear weapons is a "peaceful" action, because, in destroying Israel, it would bring great peace to the region.

Does this sound any crazier than saying that the Holocaust never happened?

I am starting to believe that we should go from Iraq to Iran. I'm starting to believe we should have gone from Afghanistan to Iran, and skipped Iraq. But then again, what would that do, really? Ugh. I just don't know...

Love to all.

$1,000,4000.00

My little company just broke a million dollars in sales for the year. Mind you, that's not profit, not by a longshot. Still, it was my goal, and we hit it. It's amazing how my personality is such that, when things go well, I get kind of freaked out.

Still: Yay, us.

I fully realize that I didn't get sober... didn't accept the grace that turned my life in a new direction... to be a successful entrepreneur. But I do think that making an attempt to be a somewhat better dude has helped me work harder and, sometimes, be nicer. And I guess when you add a little luck, you sometimes get some results.

Whoa.

Love to all. Even you, the deadbeat who took 140 days to pay us.

Why parenting is the hardest job ever.

Two words: immediate effect. Two other words: immediate requirements.

Wait... that's actually three words, in two parts, and... and... oh fuck it.

The difference between parenting and everything else is this: every action you take has immediate and irrevocable impact, both great and small. Every thing you say to a child, and how you say it, redirects their life in development in tiny or huge ways, depending...

Combine this with the fact that you cannot delay children's requirements. They will not and cannot wait for a response (as they get older, sure... but my kids are teeny), and so you have to immediately mitigate irritability/tiredness/angry responses as best you can, without having any of the tactics/comforts of distance, delay, or delegation (hey, three Ds!) that are options in nearly all adult interaction.

So it's a tough fucking job. I'm glad I'm realizing this now, vs. later.

Love to all. Even you, whoever discovered the reason why asparagus make your pee smell.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

So, I'm at Whole Foods on Union Square. There are three lines for 20 registers. The lines are long. There's a "line director" who directs which person from which line goes where. They are supposed to go:

Line 1, then Line 2, Then Line 3.

They went:

Line 1, then 2, then 3, then 2, then 1, 2, 3, 2... etc.


AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Love to all. Even you, Mr. Line Director (who clearly didn't want my math help).

Five things in the last 48 hours.

1) Sledding at the park with my in-laws. My four-year-old was the daredevil, awe-inspiring marvel of the hill.

2) Cleaning up dog poop.

3) Playing the djimbe in church, although the song got cut short because choir went all batshit on the melody, causing the director to shut it down.

4) Cleaning up a huge amount of broken glass from a sink full of dirty dishes.

5) Blogging while in the bathroom, on the potty.

Love to all. Even you, Mr. I'm-being-polite-not-surly Train Rider.

The Holy Spirit vs. Stage Fright.

So, I was about to play drums in Church, and my old-time rock-and-roll panic started to set in. It didn't matter where I was playing, previously: Biker Bar, Pizza Hut, Dive Bar, CBGBs, whatever, I would get totally stiff and panicky... and often couldn't play loosely until the last song, if ever.

This time, though, I took a few minutes and prayed. And I thought to myself, "Dude, how lucky are you to have gotten through what you've gotten through and made to the point where you're being asked to play drums in Church?"

The answer, of course, is very.

Love to all: even you, the wacky kid with the bells.

Reader Question: Am I pro-Palestine?

Hey, someone posted a question to me. How cool is that?

The question was: Am I pro-Palestine?

The answer is: absolutely. I think the Palestinians need and deserve a stable, independent country.

I find it interesting that people focus on Palestine as being "areas of Israel that Israel needs to give up." What about the rest of (and the majority of) Palestine? Palestine was WAY bigger than current-day Israel. Why does everyone demand Israel give up land, but nobody asks Jordan to give up land? How about both?

I think the answer is obvious. Being pro-Palestine and Anti-Israel have become confused. They are not supposed to be paired items, yet for many, they are. Considering that the wholesale slaughter of Palestinians has been largely inflicted by Arabs... the worst by Jordanians... Perhaps Jordan's best method of atonement would be to give up a small amount of land for Palestine.

At this point, it's become clear that Israel is trying to effect serious and peaceful change. Hell, when Ariel Sharon creates a centrist party to facilitate peace... well, that's just amazing.

But is it possible? Has Anti-Israeli sentiment become SO entrenched in the Pro-Palestinian cause that they are now inseperable

If so, all is lost.

Love to all.

Iran's President is evil, but not insane.

Oh my god.

Fresh from the mouth of the evil-ass guy who wants to wipe Israel off the planet, comes the idea that:

1) the Holocaust never happened, and that
2) Israel should be moved to Europe.

The answers of course are:

1) Only the uneducated believe this, and the anti-semitic (too weak of a word, here) espouse this.

2) Yeah, pal: like you lobbied Jordan to give up land for Palestine.

Can you imagine... can you even imagine... what will happen if this country gets nukes? Makes one shudder to think.

Love to all. Even you, the hugely hateful.

The arts are killing me.

Saw the nutcracker at Lincoln Center tonight. It was totally sweet. We didn't take my youngest because we thought it might be too long for him. Apparently, before Maggie left (I was already at work in Manhattan), he said "You're going somewhere without me?"

Heartbreak, heartbreak.

I've got to slow down. I stared getting sick monday night, took Tuesday off from work... but went to Carnegie Hall to hear my unbelievably talented sister-in-law perform... felt a bit better this morning, so like an idiot I went to the gym, did the cardio thing as well some weights... and now, getting back from the city, I'm all sick again.

I've got to let myself operate at 75%... it doesn't have to be 0% or 104% ALL of the time.

Does it?

Love to all. Especially you, the puppy in the doggie hospital.

p.s. I promise to be more coherent after this post.

Morning in paradise. (aimless rambling)

So I'm home sick today. I'm trying to make sure I don't have a repeat of last year, where I got pneumonia once and asthmatic bronchitis three times. No more of that shit for me, please.

Mornings here are utter chaos. It takes forever to get everyone ready for school. My daughter usually becomes upset about something, starts crying, and then will refuse to talk about anything other than how mean I (or whichever adult is in the room) am. My oldest thought it would be a good idea to dump a shovelfull of snow on my youngest... getting him totally soaked just before they left for school... on the day he has an outdoor class trip.

Whee!

Normally, of course, I miss all this: I'm on the 6am train to NYC.

Oh, Did I mention that the Corgi was up all night with, uh, stomach problems?

So now everyone's left, except me and Mimi, the Flat-Coat puppy. I'm sitting in front of our newly decorated Christmas tree, listening to Jina La Bwana, which I'm supposed to play in Church but probably won't due to stage fright. I feel terribly guilty about that, because I said I'd do it... but just the thought of getting up in front of people makes me my chest hammer like crazy.

So, with all this, I feel kind of peaceful and happy. I've got a nice life here, and it's good to take a moment to remember that.

Love to all. Even you, the puppy who *just* passed gas. Ew.

Zube Girl kicks it freestyle.

Zube Girl just wrote an amazing post on what it really means to be pro-choice. I could barely even comment on it. There was no reason to. It was that good.

Love to all.

Four things God made for my daughter.

Written by her.

1. Herself.
2. The sun.
3. Food.
4. Fire alarms.

Love to all.

Do NOT read this post.

Q: What's the only thing more icky than your dog eating her own poop?

A: When she throws it up onto the carpet.



L2A

I am a collections machine.

I run a small company, with 2005 billings of approximately 1 million a year. In fact, this year, that's going to be almost an EXACT figure. Last year, we billed about 600k, so we've grown. And that totally rocks.

The fun thing about owning a small business is the same as the least fun thing about owning a small business: you get to do everything.

Big client decisions? Me.
Shopping for paper clips? Me.
Writing the direct marketing materials? Me.
Checking the phone bill? Me

Hardcore collections? You guessed it. Me.

So I went to a client today, and basically said: "I have to sit here until you give me a check." While I had called and emailed them that I was coming, they never responded. Nonetheless, I managed to walk out of there with a check for $12,000... which is a half of what they owe us, and the full amount that was overdue.

Sheesh.

The client loves our work... they say we do a fabulous job. So why do they make me act like a freakin' thug? Maybe it's because they know I'll keep coming back for more, capitalist dog that I am.

Years ago, when I had really long hair, I could do collections under the guise of being a completely different person. THAT was kind of fun. Alas, I'm a moderately close-cropped papa, now.

Love to all. Even you, the confused office person with the copper hair.

It just gets worse every moment.

I just re-read the cracked-out hatemongers post again. It just gets worse and worse ever time I read it. I don't think I've read many posts that were more disturbing.

This UnChristian Chritian is:

1) Anti-American. He claims that immigrants are causing our children to "throw away centuries of faith" Hey, Jackass: When did YOUR family come to America? With the exception of native americans, it's a country of IMMIGRANTS.
2) Blatantly racist. Reread the part about how he loves Asians... especially where he could "see the unease in the Asian’s eyes." And check out his references to the Third World as "Ghettos of the World."
3) In utter contradiction of the Word. This man clearly doesn't know his religion's texts or history. Although my guess is that his favorite gospel is John.
I won't even get into his misogynistic rant about why women shouldn't be President. It was a different post, and I decided to stop finding out more about this shameful AmeriNazi's fucked-up opinions. Yeah: AmeriNazi.

So why does this bother me? Because he is doing all this in the name of Jesus Christ. This man is one of the most Anti-Christian people I've ever had the misfortune to come across.

Okay, enough from me on this. I've spent too much time on this sicko.

Love to all. Once again, even to the cracked-out hatemonger. Note: I am not actually saying he's on crack... in this case though, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Crack would at least explain his delusions. A little.

The UnChristian Christian.

This post is tremendous example of a "Christian" writing in direct contradiction to my understanding Spirit of Christ. It just blows me away.

How can someone read the Gospels, and then act like that?

Some of his writing is manipulative, contradictory and hypocritical: he says Christianity is "superior in both intellectual and spiritual manners" and THEN says, in the next sentence, "I will not call other religions inferior." Clearly, he thinks his readers are idiots.

Worse, though, is his utter bastardization of the Christian message, as well as Christian history. The dude needs to read up on Christian history, with some special emphasis on the evolution of the Christian canon.

Love to all. Even THAT guy.

Weird.

The dude diagonally across from me on the train just whipped out a ruler and... although I guess he was scratching his back (sans any perceptible vertical motion, though)... it looked like he was measuring.

A few minutes later, he became intensely interested in something else on the train, got up, and walked away.

If being gay was a choice...

If being gay was a choice, don't you think that society would have developed in such a way as to allow men of a certain age... say, the 18-32, hormonally overloaded range... to randomly get it on with other dudes whenever they wanted, thus ridding the world of 95% of it's crazy-ass excess sexual energy?

I mean, considering how orgasm-focused men are, if being attracted to men was a choice, 95% of the dudes would be, at the very least, using other men for stress relief while trying to find an appropriate ladyfriend.

Shit, I would have.

But I just don't find dudes attractive, for the most part. I mean, if you're attracted to guys the way I'm attracted to women, god bless you. But for the life of me, I can't think that way.

Love to all. Even you, the guy with the guy with the girl with the guy with the girl with the girl.