Thursday, December 01, 2005

I am a collections machine.

I run a small company, with 2005 billings of approximately 1 million a year. In fact, this year, that's going to be almost an EXACT figure. Last year, we billed about 600k, so we've grown. And that totally rocks.

The fun thing about owning a small business is the same as the least fun thing about owning a small business: you get to do everything.

Big client decisions? Me.
Shopping for paper clips? Me.
Writing the direct marketing materials? Me.
Checking the phone bill? Me

Hardcore collections? You guessed it. Me.

So I went to a client today, and basically said: "I have to sit here until you give me a check." While I had called and emailed them that I was coming, they never responded. Nonetheless, I managed to walk out of there with a check for $12,000... which is a half of what they owe us, and the full amount that was overdue.

Sheesh.

The client loves our work... they say we do a fabulous job. So why do they make me act like a freakin' thug? Maybe it's because they know I'll keep coming back for more, capitalist dog that I am.

Years ago, when I had really long hair, I could do collections under the guise of being a completely different person. THAT was kind of fun. Alas, I'm a moderately close-cropped papa, now.

Love to all. Even you, the confused office person with the copper hair.

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