Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Subtle.

I'm slowing down on my AA meetings. Calling AA people less than normal. Instead of giong to 7:30am meetings, I'm getting to work by 6:30 and doing database work and data entry and generally fretting about the impending merger.

I have to regain balance.

At work, I am stressed to the max and acting stupid-silly at the same time. One of the people who works for the landlord saw me in the hallway and said I looked "furious." These are all bad signs.

When I look furious but don't know it... that's a bad sign.

Maggie just called. We have a babysitter tonight, and I'm going to her home group with her. I guess, even though that's the opposite of what I want to do, that's exactly what I need right now.

Love to all. Even you, the guy to my right who keeps watching the movie playing on my screen.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was wondering how life was progessing without all the meds.

Anonymous said...

Oh, don't get me started. What happens to jack, if jack don't do meetings?

He becomes an insane projectile looking for a target...

Balance...Meetings...Phone Calls...

I like ME better when I go to meetings on a regular basis... It seems as of late you've had some issues even if you qualified for the 2007 NYM that doesn't make you Jesus!

One thing at a time, I usually find that I can work better, be a better husband, be a better mentor, be a better father to my boys, if I first take care of me and do the sober thing even if it takes me out of the loop for an hour a day, better to be out of the loop for an hour rather than all the time, insane and stressed.

But you did not need me to remind you of that did you? from one alcoholic to another...no....

God grant me serenity...
right about now would be nice...

Cheers
Jeremy

Vinny said...

OK- I can't speak from direct experience with meetings, but I can speak to balance.

Time to be selfish. This is not a bad thing. Selfish means taking time for yourself. Imagine how little use you will be to your business, your family, and yourself if you don't work your way back to the center. It means telling the wife and kids "I need to do this for all of us."

Lately, I have been shirking my own health and fitness. Not the same, but when I don't take care of myself, I have less energy and interest in the family thing. Again, not the same, but somewhat analogous.

Love to you, balanced or not.

Chickie said...

Take care of yourself. I hope you regain your balance soon.

Fiona Kathleen Hogan said...

You're balancing really well right about now :)

Most people would be oblivious!

Anonymous said...

Oh I feel you. Not on meetings necessarily - but on the things I need to do for "me" to keep me sane and productive and centered and all that.

Why is it those things are always the first to go? And everything ELSE is what suffers?

Dude. Get your ass to a meeting. Seriously.

Anonymous said...

Oh -

and "what's it like without meds" must be like "oh.. so it's that time of the month, eh?"

when you CLEARLY have VALID reasons for freaking the fuck out!

Anonymous said...

I almost asked my wife that question about "the time of the month" yesterday, but caught myself.
Do not be sorry about yelling, that post came across as disjointed, like the snow ball is catching up to you.
When I start feeling overwhelmed I wonder if I need medication and if it would help.
I have very little understanding of meetings or medications, I guess it is the problem with publishing private thoughts publicly. Anybody can add their two cents, however uniformed.
I apologize if I offended you.
Peace

Anonymous said...

I don't even know how you do ALL these things... u sure are a better man than I.

btw, what is a home group?!

Rich | Championable said...

Jeremy: I know, I know. You're totally correct.

Peter: no offense taken! Seriously!

Vamp: thanks kindly.

Shqipo: A home group is like a main AA group where you volunteer to do stuff, attend regularly, stay involved, etc. I somehow doubt I'm particularly better than you, but thanks for the thought.

Miss Britt: I did. And am.

Chickie: You rock.

Dawn said...

Just the fact that you are aware of what's going on and thinking about it tells me you're going to be fine. You know what to do and you'll do it. In the meantime, hang in there.