One of the worst... oh wait.

I was going to say that this was one of the worst days I've ever had.

But then I thought about it... and it's not even close. Shit, today wasn't even in the top 500 worst days I've ever had.

True, I let someone go today. It wasn't an easy decision, and I hated doing it, but it was well thought out, and I sought the advice and feedback of two of my partners before actually doing anything. It wasn't a snap decision, either. I waited for the evidence and advice to trickle in. That's unlike me, but it's interesting how this is also the first time I was able to simply do it and move on. I feel bad, but I don't feel wrong.

Compare today with so many of those days from 1996 (when I started drinking again) to 2003 (when I quit again). Hell, I'm sober today. I didn't come home and drink myself silly. I just had a stressful day at work, like a million other people did. Lucky me.

Seriously. Lucky me.

So hey, God: thanks for the opportunity to have a run-of-the-mill really difficult day.

Oh, an update: My old bandmate (the singer), wrote me a really, really interesting email that served to:

1. Remind me that I was a dick for commenting like that. (She didn't say that. I did.)
2. Make me think a lot about how I relate to my pre-family life.

I'm going to write her back (privately, not in this blog), but I have to think about it a little.

Love to all. Even you, the vanishing man.