Monday, June 26, 2006

Wait! We have a new winner!

Right on the heels of my mini-epiphany about "how to love different people the right way" comes a dude who just rockets me right back to my character defects. Meet the ickiest train rider yet, completely displacing the previous June winner.

He was using a tablet computer, and every time he got to the bottom right of his screen, he was wacking the crap out of my arm. It wasn't subtle. It was repeated, as if he were trying to move me off my seat. He also had a bag on the seat in front of him.. and had his feet on the seat, too. (We were in a two-facing-two seat arrangement).

So after whack number 20, the following conversation ensues:

Me: Excuse me, can you move your computer two inches to your left, every time you draw on part of your screen, you're hitting me pretty hard.
Him: No.
Me: No?
Him: There's no room to move an inch. This is the only way to do it.
Me: Wait. Are you fucking telling me that you're going to keep hitting me?
Him: Yes.
I take out my Palm, put it in his face, take his picture, and say:
I'm posting your picture online as the biggest dick ever to ride a train.
I got up and moved to the doorway, and did crossword puzzles. Admittedly, this wasn't my finest moment as a Christian, but damn, dudes... what a prick! AAAAAH! Maybe it's something about me that attracts these kind of people.

Love to all. Even you, the lady who let her viscious dogs off lead.

12 comments:

Panthergirl said...

LOL!!! I love that you did that. You're a fine Christian in my book! (then again, my book is very, very dirty!)

Anonymous said...

Being a fine Christian doesn't mean being a total pushover. That guy IS a prick. And now the internets knows it.

shqipo said...

You're a much better man than me...they'd be tweezing out pieces of his tablet from his @#$%& face

Charlie on the PA Turnpike said...

HEY! Did I give you permission to post my pic???




No, that's not me... but you were more than justified.

Ginamonster said...

I could be wrong, you know, not being a Christian and all, but I'm pretty sure being a good one doesn't mean you have to put up with assholes. And it seems to me that posting his picture on the net is far better than beating his ass. He really was being an inconsiderate asshole.

Jess said...

I love how you told him you were posting his pic! hahaha! Thats great!

Bob said...

What a dick. The other guy, not you.

Callisto said...

Snicker.

Jill said...

awesome....

Allie B said...

Wow. What an ass that guy is.

WagerWitch said...

I don't think religion has ANYTHING to do with it!!!

I wouldn't care if you were a Buddhist monk celebrating peace and harmony - I would have smacked that guy on the noggin'!

You practiced quite a bit of self control.

Too bad he won't see himself portrayed as he truly is - so that he can change his ways.

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Recovery Road London said...

I'd have just punched. Hard. And then aplogised for there not being enough room for you to do your daily work-out.

What an arsehole, eh?

Nice blog. Take it easy, friend.

regards

Kenny Mac