My name isn't Frances or: Bonanza Jellybean, Cont'd.

Sometimes I think that being nice is a liabilty.

I posted a comment on Bonanza Jellybean, a blog I found through while surfing one the links of one of my links. In my comment, I stated that I understood that I didn't know her all that well, and that I was being "incredibly presumptive" in my comment.

The main point of my comment was:

1. She should maybe not take corrective action based on psuedo-medical advice from a 3rd grade teacher. Asking a doctor might be a good idea.
2. Beware of telling children things that make them body conscious. Especially girls.
3. I am aware that I've only read one post on her blog, so sorry if I was being incredibly presumptive.
   

In my post here ABOUT the comment, I specifically said: "Hope I didn't overreact."

Then, Shqipo asked me if my name was Frances.

He asked me this because the attribution lines on Bonanza Jellybean make it look kind of like the comments belong to the wrong person. So he was associating the wrong comment with my name.

When I went back to see what he was talking about, I saw that I had driven some folks into a mad, defensive posture. No one more than the blog's owner, but a lot of the commenters were pretty pissed off, too.

Most of the people who criticized me used the "He must think he's SO perfect, judging you on one post. He must think he's the perfect parent." Hell, the blog's owner called me a fucktard. Which, actually, is awesome. But not as good as "Pretard." Which is way better. But that's beside the point.

Anyone who accuses me of thinking I'm perfect clearly hasn't read my blog. Or even my "about me" thingy on the top of every page. I'm a fucking ALCOHOLIC. I spent a great deal of my life completely drunk off my ass. Regardless of the innumerable other character defects I have, and there are MANY, this alone precludes me calling myself "perfect."

So fuck that noise.

Anyway: my other point, is the idea that I'm "judging someone on one post." We ALL judge people based on imcomplete information. Hell, I'd love have Ms. Britt, Fiona, Shqipo, Gina, Vinny, Lisa, Eric, Amy, Christelle, TC, et al, for a huge-ass roundtable once-a-week dinner, but we live in different parts of the WORLD. It's not possible.

You think you really know your coworkers? How many people are utterly certain about every situation about which they posit an opinion. Clearly, we're all making educated guesses. If not, everyone would pretty much think the same thing about everything. At that's not the case.

What I try to do, and what was completely ignored in this case, is make sure people know I'm aware that my comments are based on my limited knowledge. I literally SAID this in the comment: "I'm sorry if this is incredibly presumptive."

But you know what? It's the fucking BLOG world. Why do people put shit out there that they don't want people to read and comment on? Blogs can be "members only." It's easy. Or, you can moderate comments to filter out opinions you don't want... leaving only the comments that say "Man, you're awesome!" or "Right on!" Or whatever floats your boat. Or, at the very least, post a header that says:

Do not comment on this blog unless you have read the whole thing and thoroughly understand the psychology of the owner.

Me? I think the people who disagree with me make this blogging thing just as interesting as the folks who I tend to agree with. Disagreement makes me clarify my own position.

Hell. It sometimes makes me CHANGE my position.

Love to all. Even you, Painting Chef.