Run.

So, well, whoops.

The Manhattan Half-Marathon is this Sunday. I thought it was in another week or so. I'm SO not ready for this. But I'm running it anyway. Yesterday, I ran 7 miles, just to make sure I'd be able to run 13 tomorrow.

Yesterday.... well... sucked.

I had three clients call to complain about work performed (even work that had been performed months ago, to happy and signed-off-upon results). I've had interviewees not show up, and those that were were attitudinally challenged. I've had one staff person developing a moderate internal Culture of Opposition, and another who needs to learn that her job, however interpersonally fun, requires adherence to a hierarchy.

I have one client who, it turns out, was sued by one of our partners for 42k. They owe us 10k. I have another client who has decided only to pay us half of what they owe us, for reasons, as far as I've been able to uncover, are made up. I have one MORE client who said she's just not paying us, just because she doesn't want to.

I'm a wreck.

It's times like this that I just want to fire everyone who's not a partner and just do everything myself. I'm a great recruiter, I can do collections, I can do invoicing...

I don't know if it's a crisis of confidence in my STAFF, or a crisis of confidence in me.

My beloved isn't helping. (Oh, by the way, she doesn't read this blog. People are confusing comments from one person with comments from my wife.) I checked our checking account, and it looks like we're deficit spending. She's also suggesting really expensive things for the office (I asked her to help decorate). And when I express doubt, say, about the price and look of the lamps she picked, she buys two of them anyway "just to see how it looks." And when I ask her to cancel the order, she decides to buy them for her office at home. (Okay. One lamp was $40. The other, though, was $189. Gulp.)

Where, exactly, is that money supposed to come from?

One of my partners drew a really simple graph. He drew a square and put a thick line down the middl. Then he said: "This side is work. This side is home. Don't let them meet. You're first mistake was letting her paint."

I think he might have been right.

I don't seem to be able to find a way to destress and calm down. Maybe I need more sleep. (Duh.) Maybe I need to eat better (not having a Whole Foods nearby sucks).

Not sure.

Anyway. I'm in something of a funk. I'm going to try and work my way out of it.

Rock on.

Love to all. Even you, the NJ taxi on the West Side Highway who wouldn't pick a lane.

Anyway.