No introduction, no signature.
As a prerequisite to consideration of your offers, Maggie must first create, sign, and provide to us a document retracting pointedly, unequivocally, in its entirety, and to our satisfaction the complaint she filed with the [local] Police Department – of which we have a copy. She must then submit that document at the appropriate level to the [local] police, and provide to us verifiable proof that she has done so. Then, and only then, will we consider the offers contained in your email copied below.
This is in response to:
Dear Mom and Dad,Words just fail me. I mean, forget the fact that Maggie actually STOPPED the police from arresting my father after they read the frightening and threatening letters and faxes he was sending... the fact that I haven't spoken to them since 2003, and that they are putting this weird power trip /prove yourselve to us/ revenge thing ahead of having a relationship with their Grandchildren...
I'm writing to tell you that I'm truly sorry for all that has happened. We all miss you, and that if there's anyway to move past this, we would like to. I am more than willing to simply start anew.
I've been thinking about this for a while, now, but it was really a conversation I had with [my son] this morning (before hockey league tryouts!) that cemented the timing. He's a super-awesome 10-year-old boy, and I want you to be in his, and our lives.
And, with equal importance, I want him to be in YOUR lives.
I don't want you to miss out on a kid like this. (And the rest of 'em are pretty terrific, too!)
You are totally welcome to call me at xxx-xxx-xxxx if you would like to talk (my cell), or, during the week, at xxx-xxx-xxxx (my office).
I have the Atlanta Marathon in two weeks, but if you wanted me (or me n' [my son]) to fly out for a weekend in April, I'm sure we could figure that out.
I hope this note finds you well and happy. And warm!
Love,
Rich
...it's just sick, sick, sick. It's sick. And it's ONLY remembering that he is ill that prevents me from being truly angry.
Love to all. Even you, Dad.
14 comments:
Eee ghad and yikes. You are so valid in feeling the way you do. So sorry you have to go through this tough patch.
Wow, Rich. I don't know what to say. That response sounds like it was drafted by an attorney...not a parent.
This does not sound like people who are willing to put the past behind them even if it is to remember that you are their son. Whatever life's trials and tribulations are along the way, why can't people remember that we only get once shot at this life but an infinite number of shots to make it better?
I am so sad for you and your family. You certainly deserve better. Life is too damn short and it unfortunate that your parents cannot see that.
I hope for your sake (and Maggie's and your kids') that they come around. And if they do not, know that you did the right thing and tried to make it better.
Mmmm, well, maybe more time will help them let go of that anger.
Dude- I have no words. I can say that your situation far outstrips anything I ever had to seal with. I have every sympathy for your kids- they deserve better.
That's always the worst part of these things- as adults, we get to make choices. Kids, however, just have to live with the consequences. Your dad's illness is very pronounced. The one thing you can say is that at least your kids are not in the midst of it. Only you are.
For that, I'm sorry.
I knew it'd be like this. Sorry but when you first posted I knew you weren't going to get the response you hoped for. You're on some spiritual journey shit, trying to be better, the best person you can be. Your parents are not.
I KNEW you were going to get hurt by sending a note to your parents. I knew it would be a mistake.
However, the response sounds masculine and I wonder if your mother feels the same way. I wonder if out from under the eye of your father, she'd like to cultivate a relationship with you.
Thanks again for the awesome comments.
Anonymous: I once thought that some of the insane letters coming from my father could never have been approved of by my mother, and I don't know if she has seen everything he has done... in fact, I don't even know what he has told her. But I DO know that she once initialed (yes, initialed!) every single page of one of my dad's super-threatening letters, just to prove she read it.
Yikes.
But look, she's dated him since she was FIFTEEN. I don't know.
Je ne sais quoi dire... Wow.
It's sick. And it sucks. And you deserve better. And you need to run, not walk, away from both of these people.
I'm sorry.
Oh wow, that is insane. Sorry that it didn't go over well.
Your sponsor's right, there is something wrong with them. Eventually you'll just have to let go and know you did what you could. (Easier said than done...)
my parents - mother being the aggressive one - laid guilt on me for years. i actually received a similar correspondence at one time, to the point of guilt taking over my life. that is when i made the decision to rise above it all and make my own life. these were people who had to have complete control over all aspects of my life (forgetting that i had become an adult/parent). unfortunately, my father had to call on the sly to say he loved me and had no power over the wife. (for him i always felt sorry.) but i firmly believe that i went thru all that in order NOT to perpetuate the syndrome. be proud of yourself and your family. stand strong.
Wow...I feel for you, I really do. This is a heavy situation. :-(
Like I've mentioned before, I have a hard time grasping this concept of such a stupid yet fierce feud between parents and their offsprings. geez! very unfortunate.
Is your father a lawyer?
Oh dear.
Rich, I haven't been online for a bit and I've just seen this post.
I'm sorry your parents replied in the way they did. But in a way, I'm glad they did because you know you tried your best. And that it now lies with THEM, not you.
I believe you and Maggie create an environment of love and warmth right now. If it means not having your parents around to make sure that treasure isn't soured, then I personally say so be it. But that's just me :o
It was so huge of you to send them that letter. My hero! lol.
Post a Comment