The worst poop of all time.

1 second: preparation.
10 seconds: poop in progress.
20 seconds: kids start screaming from downstairs (they're in the bath).
25 seconds: I run down stairs superfast. (There's nothing wrong.)
35 seconds: I'm back up stairs.
38 seconds: poop in progress.
38 seconds: the phone rings. I get up to get it because Maggie is out with one of the kids.
46 seconds: someone calling about an old babysitter ad. I try to say it's filled.
56 seconds: sit down. poop in progress.
1 minute, 10 seconds: phone rings. I get up to get it because Maggie is out with one of the kids.
1, minute 25 seconds: it's the same person, calling me back to ask for babysitting recommendations.
1 minute, 35 seconds: I grab my computer on the way back to the bathroom.
1 minute, 45 seconds: poop in progress.
2 minutes: this update in progress, while pooping.
2 minutes, 10 seconds: my daughter comes out of the bath and starts coming up the stairs, I yell "Privacy! Privacy!" She yells "BUT DAD!" I respond "NO! PRIVACY!"
3 minutes, 10 seconds: this update is finished.
3 minutes, 15 seconds: FLUSH.